Hong Kong journalist Qu Yingxi wrote a book called "Monsters of Monsters."
Before becoming a full-time wife, she was the deputy editor of The Weekly. After resigning, she lamented that it is 100 times harder to manage three children than to make a magazine.
More important is the lack of personal well-being.
For the children's education, the parent-child relationship is getting worse and worse, and there is no time to manage the relationship between husband and wife.
Once, the eldest daughter asked her: "Mom, why don't you laugh?" She realized that she would not laugh when she was a parent of school-age children.
The term "monster parents" is derived from Japan and refers to parents who are crazy about their children's performance.
The diligent mother in the book is filled with son Xiang, who is filled with the childhood tutoring class, and the lack of love communication between the mother and the child is more like a combination of utilitarianism:
All the mother's contribution is for the child's score, and the child can only use the score for the mother's smile.
All the blueprints and visions that the mother portrayed were poked by the child like a scab, on the beam of the middle-class family.
It seems that with this "life failure" child, their life has also failed: the defeat is complete, but it is unsuccessful.
Chapter 1
In the past few years, I have seen too many adults. When children start to study, their parents begin to worry, quarrel, and slowly lose their smiles.
Some of them have been convinced that they want to give their children a happy childhood.
However, when the child just finished the first grade of elementary school, the homework could not keep up, the bottom of the exam, their confidence in education instantly collapsed.
Qu Yingxi said that her eldest daughter was very embarrassed when she was in the first grade.
Suddenly, the teacher did not teach the multiplication of the law, and directly arranged the multiplication work, and only her daughter and another little boy in the class did not attend the preschool class.
"Kindergarten elementary school, elementary school, middle school, middle school, university, how to play."
This kind of big environment is more tears.
As a parent, there are only two choices, or dance with the big environment, or open up the environment and respect your own educational philosophy.
When riding the wall between the two, the parents are the most painful, and the child is the most guilty.
In reality, too many parents are riding the wall, neither wanting to let the child become a slave to the homework, nor seeing the child lose at the starting line.
Chapter 2
I am a friend, I started the company myself, and I am already very good in the eyes of most people.
However, the child was in junior high school and her grades were not good. She was like Xianglin, all day, regretting that she did not take her children at home full time.
She said that all the glory that is now available can't offset the stain of the child's poor learning.
Her son I have seen, independence is very strong, and people are very mature, although the results are not good, but they are particularly confident.
Said to her mother, "My only shortcoming is that the grades are not good," and she turned her mother's eyes.
I asked her, if you have such a sunny child, don't you feel gratified?
She simply replied that although I know that there are thousands of successes, I still hope that my child has only one kind of success, that is, to go to a famous university and enter a global company.
"Do you know that entrepreneurs are now in a meeting, and it’s not popular to say that they have a lot of business, and they are all in the air. This child was admitted to Cambridge, and he was an alumnus with Prince Charles. The child went to Harvard, and Obama was with Obama. Alumni."
I didn't hit her hard: Do you know how terrible the competition is now?
If you resigned and went home, you might not be able to cultivate it, and your mother and child will become enemies and suffer from heart disease.
As a parent, the success or failure of a child becomes our own success or failure. Even we can endure our own failures, but we cannot allow our children to fail.
We don't have the border consciousness that "children are children, we are us"; there is no educational philosophy that "life is really alive, it is not a failure."
Chapter 3
Last year, in the Yanshi case of Lijiang, Hunan, the best child in the class learned to kill his best class teacher.
The murderer is 16 years old. The ideal of life is to read a college and live a relaxed life.
However, regardless of the class teacher or his parents, he has high hopes for him. If he does not take the first place, his father will beat him.
What kind of suffering can make a boy with a bright academic record, psychologically distorted to pick up the knife for the teacher?
When he was forced to become a dawn and illuminate the whole family.
This story seems to be far away from us.
But there is a story close to us.
That is, when the child starts to study, his learning status and his achievements are the barometer of the whole family.
Couples can't talk well, because one is a wolf mother, one is a sheep dad, or the other way around.
The husband is happy to enter the door and wants to tell the wife something interesting. The mother’s child has not tested this time, and both of them are like the eggplant that was beaten by frost.
When the mother accompanied the child to write homework, she roared when she said nothing. Dad disliked her mother's stench, but she changed her post for two minutes and waved her old fist.
Chapter 4
Education is a slow process of waiting. On this road, we are going too fast.
What are we in a hurry?
Those who know good people do not necessarily have good grades from elementary school. The knowledge of college entrance examinations does not have to pay 12 years or more, and it is hard-working and unspeakable.
We are anxious about the uncertainty of the future.
Only when the child is first in the class, can he be assured that his life is stamped and excellent.
However, any adult knows that the future will become the future because of its eternal uncertainty.
When our children have only scores and scores in their eyes, the so-called certainty of the future is nothing but a self-deception of parents.
I know that the netizen "Mr. Li Yongle" wrote the story of his cousin.
Learning from a young age, the senior high school exams barely went to the third-rate high school, the high school summer vacation whimsy, set a flag for yourself: Now start to work hard to see if you can get into a key university.
After the efforts of the third year of high school, he obtained the score of 630 points and obtained the physics department of Jilin University.
How far a person can go depends on whether he is excellent at an early age, but whether he is on a certain day, suddenly understands the meaning of learning, and begins to be curious about knowledge.
The essence of education is to cultivate autonomy, broaden the horizon of a person, let him see more possibilities of life, and then willingly choose a certain kind of life and live it well.
Chapter 5
In an educational speech, Qu Yingxi said that the dialogue between Hong Kong children and their parents is a chicken and duck talk.
"Mom, the turtle is dead."
"Are you doing your homework?"
"Dad, the clouds in the sky are beautiful."
"Hurry home and do your homework."
We are no strangers to such a dialogue.
Sacrifice the whole family's love for life, cultivate a child who does not know how to love life; sacrifice the happiness of the whole family and cultivate an unhappy child.
The child grows up and no longer expects to have his own child, because he feels that the child is too bitter.
Maybe Chinese parents are learning to be selfish, find their own happiness, and find their sense of accomplishment.
If you are tired again, your child's greatest possibility is to grow into an ordinary adult like you.
Parents are not the referee and planner of the child's life, but the guide and companion of a certain life.
Take your child to the world, develop your child's habit of reading, get close to nature with them, and see their life as a lifetime, not an exam.
You are happy, your child can be happy too; you are happy, your child knows what happiness is.
Cherish Forever
Attached to the classic, from Germany
Pay attention to the journey of your child's growth
Pass the way of quality family education
Advocating love, passing love, and accompanying children to the best moments
Originality, quality, ingenuity, creating a good starting point for life
Focus on building an early education brand that is renowned for every quality family
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